The semester ended today, and frankly, it ended not a day too soon. Tempers were frayed, patience was thin, and frankly, it was just time. It is not unlike what I tell my students. Everyone could get an A in their class (well, except probably that math class) if they didn't have to balance kids, rent, work, school, pneumonia, and your cat having puppies. Work would be great and easy and more manageable if we didn't have to manage, well, manage life, too. So it is good that the term is ended.
Since I had my 40 hours in by about 10AM yesterday, I snuck out a bit early. I felt bad for about 20 seconds or so. Then I went home. And simply goofed off. I put together a workbench and a saw and fine tuned it as best as I could. I started a mound of laundry that was threatening to take over my bedroom. And I ran, something that I haven't been that religious about. In fact, I probably have been to church more often or the same amount of times as I have run in the past few weeks. Here's to improving one or both of those stats, though I am guessing it will be the running...
And I cooked dinner. I haven't cooked hardly at all, and I missed the process and the result of that. So tonight I ate well. Though I ran three miles, I am not sure that it evened out. I stared out with an exceptional chèvre cheese. I forgot bread of any sort, though--it was good but might have been better had it not been on Ritz crackers! I know. I apologized to the cheese. Then I had some olives, stuffed with with blue cheese or garlic. Then I made risotto with several kinds of mushrooms and broccoli florets and then I made tarragon chicken--chicken breasts lightly browned in butter, a little bit of garlic and lots of tarragon. Did I mention tarragon? A whole package of fresh tarragon was used. Then I baked it til the skin was crisp and brown. A semi ok Pinot Grigio was incorporated into the risotto (and my tummy). All in all, it was a pretty good meal.
The next few days will be interesting. Change is good and change happens, but then there are those moments when changes and differences from a previous life smack you and hit you upside the head. I think of a year ago, and have to say "wow." Not all are negative changes, but most are very challenging right now. Who knows? It will keep me running and probably cooking. There are a couple great movies which will provide an escape or two, and a friend or two who will provide relief, comic and otherwise. And besides, it is almost Christmas! How bad can it be?
Stay warm!
Friday, December 21, 2012
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
More
Low clouds, feels like snow
Joints ache, a storm is coming
Soon, my aching back!
Dark skies give me pause
Should I start my distant drive?
Christmas, when snow looms
Sensing, smelling, seeing snow
The first flakes confirm the promise
Snow anticipated and planned for
predictions of 1-3 or 4-6
Let's hope it's inches and not feet
Joints ache, a storm is coming
Soon, my aching back!
Dark skies give me pause
Should I start my distant drive?
Christmas, when snow looms
Sensing, smelling, seeing snow
The first flakes confirm the promise
Snow anticipated and planned for
predictions of 1-3 or 4-6
Let's hope it's inches and not feet
First entry in slam
Ice
sleet rain slush
Snow
fog cold mush
Still
calm quiet night
Tress
glitter in the light
Shovel
scoop plow salt
Icy
roads make traffic halt
Slip spin slide stuck
Time
to call the tow truck
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
A long day...
I am Christmas shopping. Really. It just happens to be at a resturant that serves roasted dates, calamari, and a more than decent red wine. I was a teacher today, and gave my final tonight. My extended office hours and meetings filled the rest of the day and believe me, it was all filled with people. I kind of feel that this is the first time I have taken a breath and relaxed all day. So sigh. Relax. Sip. Savor.
It is absolutely beautiful out tonight, and led me to the poetry prompt for the next mini poetry slam. The prompt is this--you have to either address or include the phrase "the promise of snow." I am still working on mine, but since the snow isn't quite here, I have a few hours.
Until then, it is back to shopping. And sipping. And savoring.
It is absolutely beautiful out tonight, and led me to the poetry prompt for the next mini poetry slam. The prompt is this--you have to either address or include the phrase "the promise of snow." I am still working on mine, but since the snow isn't quite here, I have a few hours.
Until then, it is back to shopping. And sipping. And savoring.
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Children
My house was filled with the sound, the happy sound, of children yesterday. I volunteered to take some photos that I suppose will end up as gifts to relatives near and far, so I made my living room into a studio, and opened my house (and my heart) for the little rats. I mean the wonderful, charming little ones....
And for this I was glad.
I am not sure why the news of the most recent school shooting affected me as it did, but not only was I incredibly saddened by the news but I found myself very angry. I know that part of that is because I feel the earth tilt at the sadness of 20 six and seven year olds not being able to go to school anymore, or the 20 families that will face a bleak, sad, holiday. I was saddened imagining the impact that this will have on the 700 other students in that school, a school that will no longer feel safe, now or probably ever. I felt sad for the 500 families that will have to have very difficult, challenging, and tear-filled conversations about lost friends and lost innocence. How does a community, however defined, whether a family, a classroom, a school, or even a town of 27,000 or even the nation, recover?
I am mad and sad because we can actually make a list and place this tragedy on a scale and compare it to other school shootings--it was worse than Columbine but not as bad as Virginia Tech is what I heard one commentator say. That we can place this mindless, fathomless tragedy on a list and compare it, by body count, to other such tragedies does not exactly paint a bright picture of today's society. Is our new standard, the bar that we try and reach, simply that it could have been worse?
I have thought about it a lot and I am pretty certain that I am not a fan nor a proponent of gun control. Not because of the 2nd Amendment. That is a false, flawed argument, but that is another blog. No, I think that I am against it simply because it would be like shutting the doors after all the inmates or farm animals or whatever have escaped. We are the most heavily armed population in the world, with more guns than people. It is a bit late to say that we will begin controlling guns now.
I am certainly not anti-guns. I know that guns themselves aren't inherently evil or bad--frankly, in most worlds, my cameras and this computer can wreck more havoc than one person's guns. As a collector of most everything (or so I have been told) I admire the craftsmanship and precision of guns, and I wonder about the history that they carry with them.
But I do think, like President Obama, that we have to have a serious conversation about guns in our society. I don't understand why it takes more paperwork and identification for me to buy Sudafed than it does for me to buy most guns. I don't understand why I can buy 10,000 rounds of ammunition on the internet, but I can't buy a box of wine the same way. I don't understand why the doors to gun shops are easily accessible, but the doorway to affordable and accessible mental health care is open mostly or too often to only those who can afford it and seldom to those who need it.
As I read the news of late, I also don't understand the deplorable lack of education about guns. Several news articles have covered unintentional shootings. A four year old shot his two year old brother with a gun he took from his parent's bedroom... A grandfather shot his granddaughter who was coming home later one evening... And I am sure I can find others--all told, more than 15,000 people were killed by guns in the United States last year.
And I do believe that it doesn't have to be that way. I know someone who grew up with guns, a lot of them, like gun store quantity. She not only survived this, but she didn't even turn out to be a gun-crazed loner who wears black. But I suspect that in that household, respect for guns was taught from an early age. If the kids had not respected the guns or the rules surrounding them, I bet it would have been rather pointedly pointed out to them. They didn't play with guns. They knew gun safety. They knew the danger and the privilege of having or using a gun. It was and is far safer that house with 100 guns than the house with one gun in a bed stand where no one knows what to do with it. We need conversations about education.
I read with interest that as a nation, we are buying more guns than ever, especially since the election. People fear that the government is going to stop gun sales. I sincerely doubt that this is going to happen. But we need to have some conversations, honest and unlimited ones with everything on the table about some aspects of gun sales. Should the assault weapon ban be reimposed? Do most people need an AR-15 or a Bushmaster? Do we need limits on magazine size? Isn't 11 enough or do we need 17 or 100? Do we need better and more inclusive background checks on who buys guns? Should I be able to just buy a gun at a gun show on my way home from prison or the local mental health care facility if the seller isn't licensed? Do we need...well, you get the idea. We need some political will to at least discuss some of these issues, though admittedly political will seems to be in short supply. Right now, however, no one is even willing to have to the conversations, and that is sad.
I am going through all the photos I took yesterday, and I can remember all the inane, silly conversations, the absolutely wonderful heartening and hopeful conversations that I was able to have with these fantastic kids. And I am glad. But I want more of them, and want everyone to have the chance to have them. For sure, 20 families aren't having them this holiday season. I think to make sure we can have more of thes good conversations, we probably need to have some serious, more difficult conversations about guns.
And for this I was glad.
I am not sure why the news of the most recent school shooting affected me as it did, but not only was I incredibly saddened by the news but I found myself very angry. I know that part of that is because I feel the earth tilt at the sadness of 20 six and seven year olds not being able to go to school anymore, or the 20 families that will face a bleak, sad, holiday. I was saddened imagining the impact that this will have on the 700 other students in that school, a school that will no longer feel safe, now or probably ever. I felt sad for the 500 families that will have to have very difficult, challenging, and tear-filled conversations about lost friends and lost innocence. How does a community, however defined, whether a family, a classroom, a school, or even a town of 27,000 or even the nation, recover?
I am mad and sad because we can actually make a list and place this tragedy on a scale and compare it to other school shootings--it was worse than Columbine but not as bad as Virginia Tech is what I heard one commentator say. That we can place this mindless, fathomless tragedy on a list and compare it, by body count, to other such tragedies does not exactly paint a bright picture of today's society. Is our new standard, the bar that we try and reach, simply that it could have been worse?
I have thought about it a lot and I am pretty certain that I am not a fan nor a proponent of gun control. Not because of the 2nd Amendment. That is a false, flawed argument, but that is another blog. No, I think that I am against it simply because it would be like shutting the doors after all the inmates or farm animals or whatever have escaped. We are the most heavily armed population in the world, with more guns than people. It is a bit late to say that we will begin controlling guns now.
I am certainly not anti-guns. I know that guns themselves aren't inherently evil or bad--frankly, in most worlds, my cameras and this computer can wreck more havoc than one person's guns. As a collector of most everything (or so I have been told) I admire the craftsmanship and precision of guns, and I wonder about the history that they carry with them.
But I do think, like President Obama, that we have to have a serious conversation about guns in our society. I don't understand why it takes more paperwork and identification for me to buy Sudafed than it does for me to buy most guns. I don't understand why I can buy 10,000 rounds of ammunition on the internet, but I can't buy a box of wine the same way. I don't understand why the doors to gun shops are easily accessible, but the doorway to affordable and accessible mental health care is open mostly or too often to only those who can afford it and seldom to those who need it.
As I read the news of late, I also don't understand the deplorable lack of education about guns. Several news articles have covered unintentional shootings. A four year old shot his two year old brother with a gun he took from his parent's bedroom... A grandfather shot his granddaughter who was coming home later one evening... And I am sure I can find others--all told, more than 15,000 people were killed by guns in the United States last year.
And I do believe that it doesn't have to be that way. I know someone who grew up with guns, a lot of them, like gun store quantity. She not only survived this, but she didn't even turn out to be a gun-crazed loner who wears black. But I suspect that in that household, respect for guns was taught from an early age. If the kids had not respected the guns or the rules surrounding them, I bet it would have been rather pointedly pointed out to them. They didn't play with guns. They knew gun safety. They knew the danger and the privilege of having or using a gun. It was and is far safer that house with 100 guns than the house with one gun in a bed stand where no one knows what to do with it. We need conversations about education.
I read with interest that as a nation, we are buying more guns than ever, especially since the election. People fear that the government is going to stop gun sales. I sincerely doubt that this is going to happen. But we need to have some conversations, honest and unlimited ones with everything on the table about some aspects of gun sales. Should the assault weapon ban be reimposed? Do most people need an AR-15 or a Bushmaster? Do we need limits on magazine size? Isn't 11 enough or do we need 17 or 100? Do we need better and more inclusive background checks on who buys guns? Should I be able to just buy a gun at a gun show on my way home from prison or the local mental health care facility if the seller isn't licensed? Do we need...well, you get the idea. We need some political will to at least discuss some of these issues, though admittedly political will seems to be in short supply. Right now, however, no one is even willing to have to the conversations, and that is sad.
I am going through all the photos I took yesterday, and I can remember all the inane, silly conversations, the absolutely wonderful heartening and hopeful conversations that I was able to have with these fantastic kids. And I am glad. But I want more of them, and want everyone to have the chance to have them. For sure, 20 families aren't having them this holiday season. I think to make sure we can have more of thes good conversations, we probably need to have some serious, more difficult conversations about guns.
Monday, December 3, 2012
Fog
OK, I may be weird, but I like most of these photos. I like the almost monochrome look, and the pseudo-mysterious look. And, I think that they are even more subtle, not that I ever am, because they were shot with film. Though it does bother me that they kind of look like the framed art at Kohls or at Fairfield Inn.
Still, It makes me want to shoot more with film, though it is probably just because I like the cameras. The first three were shot with a Leica R4 and a 90mm Elmarit. The second three, the wider angle and sharpest photos were taken with an M4 and a (brand new, made in 2012) 35mm Zeiss Biogon. The last three were taken with a Leica IIIG and a 50mm 3.5 Elmar. What I find interesting is the differences in color more than sharpness. All were shot on the same film, with careful exposure and I think, careful focus though with the fog you couldn't really see a whole lot. There are just subtle differences between the lenses, not the cameras. as you might expect from lenses from 1953, 1977, and 2012. Things have gotten better, I suppose, but not all that much better, and perhaps one lens is not better than the other, but rather, just different in little, noticeable ways.
OK, way to much technical mumbo jumbo. I guess I was just happy to intentionally go out and take photos and to come up with one or two images that I kind of liked or at least intrigued me. I do have to admit that I am REALLY missing taking pictures of people. Any volunteer models out there? Let me know...the price is right.
Sunday, December 2, 2012
It's been a quiet week...
I have been thinking of what I would write this week, as it seems that it is a tradition or a pattern to post at least once a weekend. I think that in some ways it has been a roller coaster sort of week. I have let enough slip that all has not been well. I have literally been sworn to secrecy but I can share that work has not been all roses. The challenge with a job like mine at the level of my position is that there are some politics. OK, there are a lot of politics! But I seem to have weathered this storm for now, and while there is still "storm debris" to manage, I think that all are in a better place. I even won an award this week, a metaphorical pat on my head and in my bank account.
So I am managing. People still challenge me a bit but things are OK. If I was honest with myself, I would tell myself, "Self, take a break. People have said that they are this and want that or whatever, or that you need to do this or don't do that. Let it play out." I am not that patient, sometimes, and that is hard. Sometimes, I have been told, I focus on the negative and don't see all the positives! Me, the half-full kind of guy. Who knew? So, patience is the guiding word and principle. I have to work on that.
I did take photos this weekend, but I shot them on (GASP!) film so I can't post them yet. I will tomorrow. They should be kind of fun. It was foggy all day, and these should reflect that. It was a Leica day, as I was out with three different Leica cameras, the oldest from 1954 and the newest from 1978. That was kind of fun--no push button zooms or instant pictures today. Actually, the waiting is killing me. We are so used to instant gratification (see above) that having to wait and wonder is hard. Not all the answers (or pictures) come up immediately, and I laughed at one point when I "chimped" my Leica IIIG. That is what you call what photojournalists do after a big play or news event. Every one stops and looks down at the back of their camera to see if they got the shot. It is just such habit--you take the photo, and then you look at the monitor to see if you got the shot. All I saw was chrome and leather that those nice Germans put on the camera back almost 60 years ago.
So more tomorrow. Remember, patience!
So I am managing. People still challenge me a bit but things are OK. If I was honest with myself, I would tell myself, "Self, take a break. People have said that they are this and want that or whatever, or that you need to do this or don't do that. Let it play out." I am not that patient, sometimes, and that is hard. Sometimes, I have been told, I focus on the negative and don't see all the positives! Me, the half-full kind of guy. Who knew? So, patience is the guiding word and principle. I have to work on that.
I did take photos this weekend, but I shot them on (GASP!) film so I can't post them yet. I will tomorrow. They should be kind of fun. It was foggy all day, and these should reflect that. It was a Leica day, as I was out with three different Leica cameras, the oldest from 1954 and the newest from 1978. That was kind of fun--no push button zooms or instant pictures today. Actually, the waiting is killing me. We are so used to instant gratification (see above) that having to wait and wonder is hard. Not all the answers (or pictures) come up immediately, and I laughed at one point when I "chimped" my Leica IIIG. That is what you call what photojournalists do after a big play or news event. Every one stops and looks down at the back of their camera to see if they got the shot. It is just such habit--you take the photo, and then you look at the monitor to see if you got the shot. All I saw was chrome and leather that those nice Germans put on the camera back almost 60 years ago.
So more tomorrow. Remember, patience!
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