Reflections

This trip was to be and was planned primarily as a tool for reflection, and I did have time to reflect on things and life…I would like to say that while in Notre Dame, a saint came down and smacked me in the head, called me stupid, and then laid out a life plan for me.  The closest I came to that was when a rather large German woman stepped on my foot and called me stupid—no life plan from her, either.  I am not sure I reached any real conclusions but perhaps I have ascertained some directions to follow. 

I do know that I have to get off my rather large butt (hey, the bread was REALLY good) and start looking for work.  That same saint will not come down and offer me a job, or at least she/he hasn’t yet.  There is a job in St Cloud MN that I will pursue, and I will look hard elsewhere if it seems like a good job—or rather if it seems like a career move that makes sense.  That said, I will start actively pursuing jobs around here, though perhaps they will be just jobs, not careers.  I need to go knock on doors for teaching gigs and paper the place with my Vita.  As they say, times “a-wasting.”

If I had my druthers I would like to stay around here.  I love it here, and it feels right, and I think I feel right here.  I can do with a lot less, but perennial poverty is not my goal, either.  I have to find that balance, and what scares me about that is the only way you can find that balance is to jump in and see if you can swim with the sharks/economy.  That is hard, with but a small safety net, and only a few months of savings.  And no insurance and and and…  Hey, welcome to the world that another 600,000 or so a week get to experience.

I can’t help but do a skills assessment or really a SWOT assessment of me and my life.  I do some things very well, I think.  Despite what Whatcom may think, I have the potential to be a pretty good dean.  I just received my last teacher evals, and they were gratifyingly good, and I do love to teach.  All things considered, I am an OK photographer, and while the jury is still out on this, I think that I am a competent writer.  I am an OK and sometimes, even successful as a communicator, recent examples not withstanding.  As they say in Lake Woebegone, I am mostly above average.

 That does not mean that I am not self-reflective enough to recognize weaknesses.  I know people will be shocked but I do have a temper and am limited in my ability to be patient, and sometimes let my frustration/impatience show.  I was just told that I wear my heart and soul on my sleeve. Really, you say…yep, that is me. I also know that I have squandered some personal and professional opportunities that I do and will regret for a long time.  Opportunities are out there.  I am pretty well equipped for the world, even this new world that changes so fast.  Whether I have all or the exact job skills necessary for this new world economy is unknown, but I think that I jump into it pretty well equipped. 

What I did discover is that I am optimistic—you know me, glass half full and all that.  Seriously, I am optimistic.  I don’t have those rosy tinted glasses which would let me imagine that all will be perfect, and all the changes seamless and smooth in the next few months.  But it will be manageable and bearable. Doors will open.  And you know what?  It might even be fun.