Sometimes a little snow is just as dramatic and pretty as a lot of snow, not to mention a whole lot easier to drive in! Perhaps that is a small metaphor for life, too...Life is interesting here, I guess. I have had long conversations with friends about being alone, alone-ness, and loneliness, all similar words but with very different meanings, and with very different levels of comfort. I am not uncomfortable being alone--often it is a choice and I am fine with that. I think I am struggling in part with a sense of loss and the lack of direction/comfort/balance that can come with that. Certainly a great deal of that loss has come from the loss of my father this year. That has been magnified by the season, and that his birthday was this past week as well. But I am also struggling with the difference between losses which you have no control over, and losses in which you or often others have control over. I am unsure as to which loss hurts more, or affects me more. Friends are rare things, but rarer than family? I am not blameless in these losses which are magnified by choices, perhaps making this a bit more of a struggle for me.
Perhaps it's the control thing or the ego thing. I certainly struggle with both of these as shortcomings. But we all need opportunities that let us grow, right? RIGHT????? Nothing terminal.
School begins tomorrow, which really indicates the start of the new year, with all that this means. Adventures await, I'm sure.
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