Some of you might be surprised to know that of my two or three favorite teachers that I have ever had that they are not all history teachers. In this group is an English professor who (finally) successfully nudged me through Freshman Comp, a class that I had failed through non-attendance. Alan Jackson simply shook his head at the craziness of that, and said let's get you through this. I learned many things in this class and from him, but most had little to do with writing papers. He showed me the benefits of living a life of the mind, something I had never even imagined before. Who knew people could make a living by teaching and writing and reading? This was a novel idea to someone who was making a living schlumping three cameras and bag of lenses to 90 basketball games a year.
He also gave me the best advice ever for becoming a better writer. He gently led the class to the realization that better writers simply read more. And more and more. For fun and for work and for whatever other reasons you could come up with. Through seeing words in new (and better) combinations you would be able to write and put your own words in new and better combinations. He also stressed that you became a better writer, not even a great writer, but a better writer, by writing. Just write more and often. Maybe that is the genesis of this blog. It's not to become a great writer but to become a better writer. Bird by Bird, to quote another writing teacher, but you have to do it to get better.
To push me to become more and better, he pushed me to read things that I normally wouldn't read. One such book was by Kingsley Amis called Lucky Jim. It is what they call an "academic novel" not because of its prose but because of its setting on a campus. In it about how a new history prof discovers the pedantry and the pretentiousness of a middling college. There are politics and palace (certainly a small "p" on that) intrigues and egos of tremendous size, and alcohol and other bad behaviors. Of course, this was in the 1950s so it isn't relevant today, but it's a pretty good read. Maybe because we all could and can still imagine it. It did prepare me and give me a sense of humor and context when I was in the same position four decades and a continent away from Jim's life.
Professor Jackson also made/encouraged me to see a 1962 movie, The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner. I have been thinking about this movie as I have begun my running. In this stark and severe black and white movie, the reluctant hero becomes a runner to escape the harshness of a reform school. Running provide an emotional and physical relief and escape from his life that was ruled by, well, rules and walls. The movie is an action film in that it shows Colin running through fog and in the undulating but always gray landscape of post-war England. You hear his thoughts as he self-narrates and reflects as he runs. Now, he comes to a different and extremely self-sacrificing conclusion in his thoughts and as he runs, but still, it is one of the better running movies out there.
So what in the world does this have to do with me or today? I have been thinking about what to think when running or fast walking or whatever I am doing. Honestly, the worry of how to occupy my mind is what kept me from running in the past. I kind of thought long distance running would be like driving to South Dakota, or worse, driving in South Dakota. Would I begin to think of mildly subversive things like stopping before winning the race to make a point in the class struggle that we face in America today? Probably not. That was Colin's fight and I guess my life is simpler.
My tableau for running is a treadmill with a window (and TV) view, and that seems to be almost enough to occupy my mind. I tried reading but basically almost killed myself trying to turn the electronic page on my IPad. I never was all that good at multi-tasking. The other evening on my 4.5 mile run, I watched parts of four episodes of MASH. Yep, those medics are still crazy after all these years. BJ is still missing Mill Valley, Hawkeye is still....well, you get the point. I would watch a baseball game but right now they seem to last too long. I watched the Vikings lose today, and the Cardinals start their next series, so sports might possibly fill my time.
But what I really think of when I run is what to write about and well, nothing. Tonight I ran (wait--I know what I do is not running--it is simply working out and walking fast) 6.2 miles in 90 minutes. I know, barely a fast walk but a significant milestone for me. That I even did that is pretty amazing--one friend told me this weekend that when he reads my blog and it is about running, he scrolls up and double checks to make sure that it is really my blog be is reading. Since Thursday, I have devoured about 16 miles. Hardly a marathon, but remember that three months ago it was about 1.6 miles per month. I really really like it. It is hard to be mad at someone or frustrated or be stymied by misunderstandings when you are really focusing on putting one foot in front of the other for a long period of time. It lets me recall a book that I read or a movie I saw or a class I took 25 years ago and makes me not concentrate on other conundrum. And while I am hardly the lean, Zen-like long distance runner, at least I can tell the differences in me and they are good.
Is the loneliness of this part of me a good thing? I think so. I think I will keep at it, and I might even actually finish this race.
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